marți, 30 decembrie 2008
Time to get raw.
That being said, I am also a freak because I hate my generation. If we were to be less virtuous ,we would admit it: we all do drugs , we all perform underage boozing and stuff like that. Some of us do it delicately , behind closed doors only to their own pleasure. And then , there are the glamshit zombies who simply indulge themselves in a vulgar display of vices and foolish ambitions . I'd call it a public bullet. To you, my dear reader.
It's time to bring out the best in you, to get beyond your experience, beyond your narrow mind, beyond your arrogance. It's time to get raw.
miercuri, 24 decembrie 2008
On Christmas.
This Christmas is like Yin and Yang it is both happy and sad , it wakes up my deepest pains and losses , but it also opens a new path to be followed in the new year . Disappointed ? Not at all. In the end, Christmas is just as relative as art itself: it only stands for the things you attribute to them, only for the sincere feelings that you decide to settle free.
And for me? Christmas means a wish and the power to achieve it, letting go all the bad times, opening up to the really important things in life. As a more restricted sense, this holiday is all about believing in your dreams and finding the path that leads to it, without forgetting the people that love you.
I wish you the brightest Christmas ever!
miercuri, 17 decembrie 2008
High.
luni, 15 decembrie 2008
Preparing 4 the holiday.
Firstly , it looks like i mastered the fine art of blackmail cause i think I successfully used it almost every day.( for noble causes....mostly) . I like to call my next sin surrealistic threatening.......never to be accomplished, but never fails.I lied, I cheated ,I swore, I took God's name in vane. Basically these are my sins. The situation is not that bad( yeah, I'm going straightly to hell):))).
sâmbătă, 6 decembrie 2008
On high society.
Recently i had the opportunity to get a glance into the world of the so called elite of Constanta. Of course that I met people that stood for everything i hate, but it also made me shatter my beliefs . Being part of the high society of Constanta does not necessarily mean being superficial, but being as superficial ( and artificial) as you want. Word is, we all need a bit of luxury and pampering sometimes, spending money or considering trivial things. I guess it is part of the human nature . To me , this insight offered me not only a break from my intellectual status, but also changed me for the better. You might be really surprised about that and you might also ask how the hell this happened. The answer is very simple: it made me think about the kind of person i want to become, it gave me confidence in my self and fulfilled my need for adrenaline.
Strange as it may seem I find something good in all the lifestyles i met: the energy of punk rockers, the deepness of the artists, the wisdom of the nerds, the confidence of the popular kids. I might be awfully wrong, but i believe that these are the ingredients of a great existence. I said it before and i shall say it again: I hate this town and I hate this country , but while I'm here I am going to take all the advantages that life is kind enough to offer me. I try not to regard Constanta as a dead end , but as an exciting beginning, because in here there are plenty of things for me to learn and i am ready to learn all the lessons that time teaches me.
vineri, 5 decembrie 2008
Ecstasy, panic attacks and everything in between.
Yesterday's panic attack ( literally) was a bit more than what I had been used to; but I feel much better right now.
As an off topic , I shall refer to traditions. I always regarded them as old fashioned( but effective) ways to spend/ win money and mass media coverage. Still, i had a second thought these days and I have come to the conclusion that it is not the custom itself that matters, but every symbolic value we invest in it.
Looks like sometimes physical weakness brings along wisdom...
miercuri, 3 decembrie 2008
The right and the righteous.
Of course I crave happiness and everything that it brings along; when was i truly happy?
Probably, when I got a positive reply at my letter of application for an internship at Escada in New York. It is very clear to everyone that i am an overachiever . In case you're wondering, i turned down that internship , because I didn't want to leave school.
I am happy when I do public speaking and debating; my role exists only in front of an audience and nothing else matters, except for my purpose.
Also, i am happy when I am myself; because that is the worthiest thing a person can do.
After all, it 's not happiness what's really important, but the road that leads to it. Right now I'm on the highway of dreams with a crystal clear horizon in front of me.
duminică, 30 noiembrie 2008
50 songs that i couldn't live without.
1. Billy Joel – Piano Man
2. Googoo Dolls-Iris
3. Cocorosie-Beautiful Boys
4. Guns’n Roses- Knocking on Heaven’s Door
5. Doors- Light my fire
6. Rolling Stones- Angie
7. Oueen-Show Must Go On
8. Led Zeppelin-Stairway to heaven
9. Aretha Franklin respect
10. The Kooks- Naive
11. Richard Marx – Right Here waiting
12. AC/DC – Highway to Hell
13. Queen –Bohemian Rapsody
14. Rolling Stones-You Can’t always get what you want
15. Bob Dylan –Like a Rolling Stone
16. Guess Who- Shakin’ all over
17. The Kooks-Seaside
18. John Lennon-Imagine
19. Steppenwolf- Born to Be Wild
20. Jimmy Hendrix-Purple Haze
21. Billy Joel –Scenes from an Italian Restaurant
22. Aerosmith- Walk This Way
23. Sex Pistols- Anarchy in the
24. Googoo dolls – Slide
25. Sum 41-With Me
26. Billy Joel –She’s always a woman
27. Billy Joel –She’s got a way
28. Thieves Like Us- Drugs in My Body
29. Air Traffic-Just Abuse Me
30. Madonna- Evita
31. Tupac-Ghetto Gospel
32. Nirvana - Rape me
33. Nirvana –Smells like Teen Spirit
34. Stone Sour- Through the Glass
35. Marilyn Manson-Hit Me baby One more Time
36. Pink Floyd- The wall
37. Carmina Burana
38. Nickelback-Rockstar
39. Bjork – Possibly Maybe
40. Lionel Ritchie-Hello
41. Michael Jackson -Billie Jean
42. Alanis Morissette- I’m a Bitch, I’m a Lover
43. The Clash -
44. Radiohead,-Creep
45. Under The Bridge-Red Hot Chili Peppers
46. chop suey - system of a down
47. Barracuda-Heart
48. Chris Ortega& Thomas gold- Hypnotize
49. Snow Patrol- Chasing cars
50. Patrice- Soulstorm
This is not a top , but a list.I just wrote the songs that popped into my mind, but there are more of them that mean the world to me. Enjoy!
vineri, 28 noiembrie 2008
Road n' trip.
In the train, I'll probably smoke a pack of cigarettes and drink a Red Bull. If I'm lucky, I'll also get a glossy, thick, fashion magazine, like harper's bazaar or Vogue.
I arrive at the station and then I just wonder around, smoke another pack of cigarettes, visit my fave bookshop, and meet my friends.
8 PM Lucky me! I got free tickets to a play at TNB .
11 PM Ota... of course ( as in my favorite place in Bucharest)
5 am sleep - upcoming exam!
gotta go......hope you 'll miss me:P
luni, 24 noiembrie 2008
10 reasons against sex while drunk
2.The missionary position seems to be enough.
3. Vices, pleasures...call them whatever you like. That's just semantics. Word is, they never go together.
4. Morning time?! I don't think so.
5.When you drink Jack, Jameson and Johnny , there is no better man.
6.Sex = balance....heels + whiskey = lack of balance
7. You know it , you hate it.......dial 567-54-PREGNANCY
8.Eventually , you are going to vomit; that's so not right.
9. Womanizing, boozing , drugs.... so wrong if underage.
10 Everything i wrote here might be fake....cause i lack the experience to confirm all the above mentioned.
duminică, 23 noiembrie 2008
Lose control.
vineri, 21 noiembrie 2008
November intermezzo.
I'll be on soon, guys!
marți, 18 noiembrie 2008
The Beginning.
duminică, 16 noiembrie 2008
Life. To be continued.
Viata este exact asa cum o vezi. Ea nu are o tipologie anume, o reteta
( gen 2/3 suferinta si 1/3 fericire) , ea e mai degraba relativa. Cel mai important lucru este sa fii capabil sa treci de ceea ce este evident, sa gasesti lucrurile care te fac fericit. Si cand le vei gasi, viata va fi un vis.
sâmbătă, 15 noiembrie 2008
To a must -have make-believe life.
luni, 10 noiembrie 2008
j'aime le burlesque.
duminică, 9 noiembrie 2008
On anarchy, and peanut butter.
Nu -mi iese mereu asa. Visez enorm, colorat in dementa. E placere pura, nebunie si geniu; acolo unde se intampla, pot fi orice imi doresc . Daca ma droghez, ma trezesc cu o luciditate incredibila. Si riff-urile mele suna colosal. Cumva , in vise totul este permis, totul mai putin realitatea.
E bine sa visezi , atata timp cat orgasmul mental, nu iti corupe si spiritul. In fond, visul e o utopie.
sâmbătă, 8 noiembrie 2008
cum sa iti bagi p**a (pula ) in tot.
De fapt nu poti sa dai dracu pe toata lumea, pentru ca nu ti-ar conveni. Cei care ajung la dracu, vor sti inaintea ta cat de rau e cel mai rau, si vor castiga. Asa ca , in realitate te-ai mascarit singur. Asa sta treaba cu " screw the world'....este un cacat de bumerang al ironicei vieti.
In alta ordine de idei, azi am descoperit cat de mult imi displac oamenii care se iau prea in serios (cu ipocrizia de rigoare, intrucat si eu am fost una din aceste persoane) .Va dati seama ca m-am saturat de cei care se cred cei mai buni. Hint: Nu sunteti cei mai buni. Si daca ( printr-o condamnabila intorsatura a destinului) voi chiar sunteti cei mai buni, nici dracu nu va crede. So, taceti din gura, si veti castiga mult mai mult.
Cititorii mei ( putini , dar fideli, in limitele decentei, nu?) sunt un pic cam sictiriti , asa ca nu mai am nimic extrordinar de spus ( va rog sa ma scuzati pentru inca o dezamagire; si daca nu ma scuzati cu atat mai rau pentru voi;) ).
Traiasca Lenin si Nikita (femeia cu suflet de barbat) -fara numar srl 1 =)))
miercuri, 5 noiembrie 2008
To friendship.
Dar acum, totul s-a schimbat. Prietenia nu mai e ceva optional, ea a devenit o necesitate. Nu mai inseamna doar comunicare, si petrecerea timpului impreuna; pentru ca uneori nu e nevoie de cuvinte sau de contact vizual pentru a stii ca cineva este acolo, mereu oferindu-ti exact lucrul ce iti face bine. Cred ca pur si simplu faptul ca nu am avut parte de asa ceva pana acum, ma face sa pretuiesc si mai mult ceea ce mi se ofera. Pentru prima oara , simt ca pot incredinta intreaga mea existenta in mainile lor; ei sunt publicul meu, criticii mei, dar mai ales, sunt cei ce invata, simt, gandesc ceea ce gandesc si eu.Pentru ca suntem ipostaze ale aceluiasi eu. Cat de usor mi-e sa zambesc, sa decojesc lumea de mister, sa sa fiu orice imi doresc. De data aceasta, nu mai este vorba de sentimente daruite pe jumate, de vise trucate si ironii mascate. Voi da totul, pentru prietenie.
To friendship....to this moment and the rest of our lives...I 'd be nothing without you.
marți, 4 noiembrie 2008
A ta,
C. C.
duminică, 2 noiembrie 2008
Remember the daze?
marți, 28 octombrie 2008
On being sincere.
A fi onest cu tine inseamna a-ti recunoaste greselile si victoriile, a-ti cuprinde intreaga viata intr-o traire : cand esti cel mai bun , cand esti iubit si fericit, cand infrunti cu energie si curaj propria-ti soarta, cand te faci de ras, cand nu iti atingi asteptarile, cand pierzi totul intr-o clipa.
La fel de greu este sa fii sincer cu toti cei ce te inconjoara . Iti este teama sa dezamageti, sa pierzi, sa starnesti ura, sa distrugi . De aceea s-a inventat minciuna. Oare nu este de ajuns ca si sinceritatea este o masca? Trebuie oare sa o dublezi grosolan prin alterarea realitatii?
Poate ca pentru un om , sinceritatea este greu de dobandit si de controlat pentru ca ea aduce cu sine atat lucruri pozitive cat si lucruri negative. Totusi, ea poate salva societatea.
luni, 27 octombrie 2008
how to save a life.
Dar lipsesc multe inca: lipseste frumusetea vie a existentei, lipseste insasi sensul unei vieti pentru fiecare individ, avantul, energia si curajul. Pentru ca sunt o simpla proiectie atemporala a ceea ce am fost , simt aproape prea stringent, cat de mult s-a schimbat Totul. Daca m-as alinia perfect in acest puzzle , poate as capata si suflu si culoare in obraj si curajul de a fi.
Dar nu as face asta. Cum as putea eu oare sa privesc inapoi, sa ma scufund pana in adancurile aride ale acestui trecut? Si pentru ce? Nu cumva , ceea ce caut este deja aici?
joi, 23 octombrie 2008
Inner and outer space.
In primul rand , am avut parte de un lant de revelatii placute care mi-au rasturnat anumite principii, si au cladit idei noi si concepte mai solide. Am renuntat ( cu placere as putea zice) la prejudecati ( nu multe la numar, anyway) , asa ca pot spune ca m-am maturizat. Aparent , cel putin.
Doi la mana, am reconstruit cu mari eforturi, o parte infima din trecut, un mic back to origins. Ideea este ca simteam ca esenta mea, personalitatea si restul elementelor ce ma definesc se diluasera si se intepartasera prea mult de finalitatea lor fireasca. Desigur , am indreptat aceasta nefericita situatie, cat de bine am putut. M-am intors in locul in care totul a pornit, mi-am vazut zilele derulandu-se ca un film vechi, am identificat greselile majore, si le-am reparat in mare parte.
In final, vreau sa fac o promisiune ( mai mult sau mai putin :))) solemna, un nou blog , cu un subiect specific. Nu o sa va zic despre ce e vorba, va las imaginatia sa lucreze.
VIVA LA REVOLUCION!
luni, 13 octombrie 2008
A penny for your life.
Sa zicem ca nu am o pasiune nebuna pentru economie politica. Sa zicem ca nu sunt un geniu priceput la orice domeniu. Si sa mai zicem ca am de luat decizii cruciale.
Acestea fiind postate , pot spune ca definitia mai sus mentionata caracterizeaza cum nu se poate mai bine insasi nemiloasa, intortocheata, dar minunata existenta ce mi-a fost harazita. Sa va explic cum stau lucrurile. Sunt mandra posesoare a nenumarate vise, dorinte si ambitii. Pe unele dintre ele mi le-am indeplinit cu succes. Cu toate acestea, daca fac un calcul simplu, pot afirma ca am pierdut direct proportional. Cred ca trebuie sa fii un geniu cu adevarat ca sa poti face o alegere cu adevarat buna. Eu nu sunt un geniu. Eu sunt un om. Am ales, am castigat, dar am si pierdut. Am pariat insasi esenta din care sunt facuta, am riscat sa ma pierd cu totul in societate, sa devin o umbra a propriilor mele actiuni. Pe deoparte am invins, datorita unor motive de finete psihologica. Pe de alta parte, planul meu nebunesc, cu potentialul sau urias, avea o mica fisura; de aceea am esuat lamentabil.
Dar nu alegerile trecute sunt subiectul acestui , post, ci acelea ce vor urma. Viitorul se anunta a fi cel putin interesant si abia astept sa vad ce imi rezerva. O moneda pentru viata mea....
vineri, 10 octombrie 2008
Party people?
Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector. It encourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully
marți, 7 octombrie 2008
Supersonic child.
duminică, 5 octombrie 2008
Smells like teen spirit.
sâmbătă, 4 octombrie 2008
I get a little bit, she gets a little more
"I get a little bit, she gets a little more
She's Miss America and... she's Miss America
I'm just the girl next door..."
Este asa de simplu! Dar lucrurile simple sunt si cele mai grele, nu?
Laugh out loud.
Love.
vineri, 3 octombrie 2008
Morning affair.
Si inca ceva, azi am avut parte de lucruri pe care nu le mai facusem de mult, m-am intalnit prieteni cu care imi era dor sa vorbesc si mai ales nu am fost judecata gresit. ( I'm like the Non judging breakfast club and really expect to see that coming from the others) Multumesc tuturor celor care au transformat o zi de cacat intr-o zi minunata.