By the end of this post I shall know why i want to start over. I don't think it is running away from my problems (not anymore), but facing them.
My main reason is knowing my flaws and my limitations . I don't want to find an excuse anymore for them . This is who i am: I lied, i always pretended to be something I'm not, I let others tread on me because I was weak, I was blinded by arrogance and fake self confidence. No'actually in their eyes I 'm nothing worthy enough to take into account and I am fully responsible for that .
Now, I have absolutely no friends , no relationships or credibility and the only thing I can do is to start over. A new life without the ones that i hurt and the ones that hurt me is the most real thing I have. The only thing that will keep me company. Every single relationshp will end now . This is my new life . Alone , walking barefoot on broken glass I will be happy.
vineri, 12 iunie 2009
I was wrong about me many times, but the most crucial mistake I made concerning my own self is not wanting to face the fact that I cannot be nice and sweet.I am a wild child and I am not gonna hold mysel back ever again. Parties bring out the very best of me/ the very worst of me and I make the very most of them. So why wold I let some fake Politeness outshine my personal best? I am exactly the girl that dances on tables , drinks and smokes, the one you sometimes hate. I am not perfect , nor do I wish to be so. I am just who I am, with my flaws and my passion for life. I wasted so much time as a cold blooded ice princess. Forget abot that girl ! She's dead and burried. Now I'm gonna leave you, cause the party is waiting for me and I 'm gonna make the most of it. Btw, I wish you were here and see the world through my eyes.
luni, 1 iunie 2009
People gossip.Bút people from highschool gossip beyond reason and just make up stuff. Never in my life have i thought that i could be involved in a scandal as a main character. I can't just go in highschool with a disclaimer sign written on my forhead stating :EVERYTHING THAT DICKHEAD SAID IS FALSE! I am mad because the real story is probably my only regret and it has degenerated so badly and was so twisted by ill-minded charcters that now it sounds like a pathetic tabloid article. I wish I could find within the people that matter their faith in me. I don't really know what to do, as this is not a question of my means of persuasion, but only a lame attempt of a guy to fit in. Gossip, gossip ,guys, gossip till you drop or till your lungs explode, cause you can't touch me anymore. Fresh , juicy and bombastic, right up!