On beginnings.

My little innocent vendetta is getting expansive and mean , so I want to put an end to it. I want to start over, but am I really willing to put everything behind , to erase so many lyrics , either sad or joyful? Do I really want give up both that made me cry and the ones that made me laugh?
How much can we forget anyway? Maybe all the fear and the disgust that shattered our being is not to be put away, but to be dealt with. I need something to motivate me. I need a reason to change and to improve. I need you, whoever you are.

I am not going to cry. Or maybe I will. That doesn't even matter now. I've been acting foolishly and invested foolish hope in worthless potential relationships. I can't express in words how bad this makes me feel or how much my vanity was hurt.I just know I have to leave all that behind . This time, though, I will face all my demons and I won't just run away. There are a few things that still matter to me; one of them is the respect I owe to myself. I cannot avoid seeing my whole scenarios shattering or pretend that everything is ok. Because it's not ok; I am not ok.
This failure is not just mine; when my hope broke the entire universe was guilty for making me embrace wonderful illusions. That is all about a virtual developent of the facts , parallel with reality.
Listen, I got your point and I'll try to listen this time .We are not made for each other even if the whole world is trying to prove the opposite. I am just so tired of this , tired of making things happen.I wish I could lay back and let life bring joy and love . Both to you and to me.